7 Creative Ways to De-stress

Anyone who has worked a job for more than a week knows what stress feels like.  You’re all happy and feeling great, and then something happens.  That event flips a switch in you and all of the sudden, you start to feel like you’re weighed down.  You might feel panicked, tired, a headache, loss of appetite, and it’s all related to stress.  We’re here to fix that, so here are 7 creative ways to de-stress:

  1. GTFO – Get The Fu*k Out – Now this option isn’t always available because sometimes you’re in the middle of a shift or there’s no one to replace you while you have a mild panic attack, so you’re SOL.  But, if you can leave, do it!  Even if you just leave the building for a few minutes.  Walk outside, breathe some fresh air, let the sun beat down on your face, and think about literally anything else other than whatever you were previously doing.
  2. Quit Your Job – Sometimes you have to just cut your losses. This option again doesn’t apply to everyone because maybe the timing isn’t right with your money situation.  However, if you really hate it that much, it’s probably killing you inside.  It’s best for you to just leave.  Why sit around and feel miserable when you can go somewhere else and get a fresh start.  A great example of this is my friend John.  John worked a large law firm doing SEO, and his supervisor was a di*k all the time. John had a side business that was making money but it wasn’t quite enough to replace his job yet.  One day, his boss said the wrong thing and John just left.  He told his boss to take a long walk off a short pier, walked over to each of his friends to say bye, then left.  It was a great decision for him because over the next two weeks, he skied in Colorado, caught up on Netflix shows, and found a new, higher paying job that was more inline with his interests.
  3. Eat something you like for a change.  One of the easiest ways to de-stress is eating something.  Fat women know this all too well.  Take a page from their heavy book and eat something you like, preferably garbage like candy and donuts. Screw the salad and get that pizza covered in extra cheese.  You’ll feel better and forget why you were stressed for a short time.  That may be just the recharge you need to make it through the rest of your day without going postal and karate chopping everyone.
  4. Meditate. This probably isn’t an option for when you’re at work because your boss will now yell at you for sleeping.  But, when you take the train back to your apartment, kick off your shoes, walk into your bedroom, sit down on the bed, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing.  If you really want to kick it up a notch, pop on some Youtube and follow a guided meditation.  The clown in the background will tell you what to do and you’ll feel the stress melt away.
  5. Bang Your Date. This one is clear as day.  Stop being so picky and swipe right on Tinder for a change.  Then, when you get a match, don’t be an a**hole to your match.  Try actually talking with them for a while.  Interesting conversations need a few lines to get going, especially when you have nothing interesting or unique on your profile.  If all you have is some pictures of you taking selfies in different outfits, what do you expect someone to say?  Stop being an idiot and post something where you don’t look cool for a change.  Then go out on a date, have fun, forget about what your friends will think for one night (because you pretend not to care but you do), then rail your date.  You’d be amazed at how quickly stress melts away when you’re pounding / getting pounded by your date. Shut up and do it – you can thank me later.
  6. Break Stuff – Previously, this option to de-stress meant breaking things you’ve purchased and ruining some of your apartment.  Now, society has upgraded.  For $50, you can go to Break Bar.  You can pay to enter a room with a sledgehammer and break everything in your sight.  Throw glass bottles at the wall, smash a computer with a sledgehammer,  break a glass table all for the price of a few drinks.  Wow does this make you feel better.  You really don’t know what you’re missing.
  7. Exercise – I really can’t believe I didn’t come up with this one on my own, but you can exercise.  According to Harvard, it’s one of 5 helpful ways to remove some stress and protect your heart.